Desiree Alliance: National Sex Worker Conference

Hey Ho Bro’s!!  I know it’s been forever since I posted here.  Believe me, I’ve been plagued by guilt.  And as an aspiring Novice w/ the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence I should be working to expiate guilt, not revel in it.  So guilt be gone!  And let me say that I enter this blog entry with renewed enthusiasm for sex work rights, sex worker health and sex worker organizing.

Of course, one of the highlights for me at this conference has been the opportunity to connect w/ other hookerboys doing their fabulous thing in the wonderful world of sexual services.  In a breakout session yesterday, called Men At Work,  a group of male-identified sex worker (both current and former) shared their experiences as workers and as activiest trying to bring guys in sex worker together as a community.

Here I’m pictured with the very sexy Israel, recent winner of the Best Tattoos Award at this year’s Hookies Awards, sponsored by Rentboy.com.  Way to go, Israel!  WOOF!!

xo BH

Accused Killer of Ruby O Finally Charged

I was so pleased to learn that the man accused of killing trans sex worker Ruby Ordena will finally be charged with murder.  Read the story on SFgate here. It’s hard to believe that it was three whole years ago that huge crowd of community activists came together at the 24th & Mission BART stations for a vigil remembrance and a demonstration of outrage at the on-going toll of anti- sex worker violence in our community.

The man accused of killing Ruby appears to have had a obsession with picking up trans sex workers to rape and murder them.  I hope there will finally be full justice in Ruby’s case, and that we will all be reminded to take a stand against anti-sex worker violence.  Remember Ruby!  And let’s work together to end violence against sex workers.  Check out and get involved with groups like the Desiree Alliance and SWOP-USA.

Never forget our sisters in sex worker — both the bio gals and trans gals.  It’s all one struggle for peace and justice.  Peace and love, HoBros!  xo BH

The Dancing Boys of Afghanistan

Hey there, HoBro buddies,

The PBS series Frontline has produced what looks to be an interesting documentary looking at male prostitution in Afghanistan called the “The Dancing Boys of Afghanistan.”   I haven’t watched the full documentary, but from the clip I saw on Huffington Post, I can’t say that I find this all that shocking.  And my reaction to most of the posts that readers made to the clip, make me wonder if the writers realize that you can find 15, 16yo guys and girls in sex work in virtually every major city in America.  As an advocate for sex worker rights, and as a  escort myself, I’ve talked to many guys in sex work who started their careers in their teens.  I’ve also traveled fairly extensively in the Middle East/North Africa and have know guys “in the business” in Lebanon, Egypty, Tunisia and Turkey.

Often they turned to sex work and a life on the streets because they were fleeing something worse at home (an alcoholic parent who beat the crap out of them; a predatory step father who raped them; homophobic parents that kicked them out of the house because they were queer), and then they were on the streets to fend for themselves.  And let’s face it, how else is a kid with no high school diploma, no college degree, prolly  no other marketable skills, supposed to survive?  We all know, the answer is there aren’t any good options for these kids.  If people are disgusted by this ugly reality, then they should be advocating for more supportive services for at-risk youth.

I hope to see the whole documentary, but I’ve seen enough wretched media representations of sex work to be wary of stock narratives about sex work as necessarily exploitive, and how people in the sex industry are consistently represented as powerless victims, which is rarely helpful even when a sex worker is looking to get out of the business. Also, Americans always get their puritian shackles riled up by anything sexual — I wonder if some of those commenting with such passion about this documentary spoke as forcefully about the gay teens who were  hanged in Iran for the “crime” of homosexuality.

It sometimes seems people are more freaked out by the idea of that  young people in other countries are making a living selling sexual services, than by the fact that they are being executed for gay consensual sex — or that they are living amid extreme crushing, inescapable poverty and hunger.  I’m in no way suggesting that the systematic trafficking of young people for sexual exploitation doesn’t happen, or that that isn’t an awful thing.  I do, however, think that a) there are lots of really, really horrible situations confronting children and  young adults all around the world and here at home; and b) the whole topic of young people involved in the sex industry as explored in this clip is very complex and nuanced.  I also feel strongly that before we wag our fingers in dismay at youth prostitution in other countries, we should examine more closely the thread-bare support systems that exist in our own country for at risk youth.

There are a lot of things that a young person should never have to deal with, and sex work is definitely one of them.  But so is hunger, violence, malaria, HIV…  I think the first step is to address the underlying issue of poverty and the lack of supportive services for youth and children living in poverty, either abroad or here at home.

What do you boys think?  I’d love to other perspectives on this from guys in escort work.  As always, best wishes and big love to all my HookerBoy brothers out there.  Wishing you quick shooters and big tippers!

xo BH

what a way to make a living…

Hey Ho’s –

The big news in my life over the last few weeks has been the new job I recently started doing a study that looks at HIV/STD risk reduction counseling at a local SF STD clinic.  I’ve been very excited about working in this very nitty-gritty aspect of public health work.

After a long period where most of my public health work has focused on grant writing, which while important is somewhat removed from directly helping people, this new job feels great.

It’s nice to feel a concrete impact on people’s health by talking with them directly and engaging them in conversations around what kinds of sex they’re having, how they talk about HIV/STDs and how they feel about the risk they are  experiencing.

Also, as you know if you’ve read thru my past posts, I was really not feeling the sex work thing.  I was tired of dealing with weird clients, tired of screening people on the phone, tired of fucking around w/ ads, and just plain tired of fucking guys I had no interest in being naked with — much less fucking.  Plus, business had been hella slow, which was bumming me out big time, and causing me to sink deeper and deeper in debt.

Having read so much about how the economy sucks, and hearing from lots of friends who’d lost jobs, I was anxious about looking for a more conventional job.  Thankfully, this being SF, my sex worker experience was not a big hindrance in my job search, but all the same, I was super suprised (and thrilled) when I landed this gig in just a matter of weeks.

The great thing is that I’m getting paid an actual liveable wage to do the stuff I went to school to do, and I can still do the kinds of sex worker advocacy stuff that means so much to me.  Plus, I still get the occasional regular who rings me up, providing me some extra “mad money” for cocktails and other fun pursuits.

I have to say, for me, this is a much more comfortable place to be.  I wouldn’t trade away my year and half when sex work was my bread & butter — I learned some valuable lessons about the sex industry, gay men and my own sexuality, not to mention the many friends from the world of gay porn and escorting that I’ve made along the way — and all my girl hooker friends, too.

But certainly, doing a little escort action on the side is a lot less stressful than trying to make your whole living in sex work.  The income stream is so volatile — some weeks can be amazing and then you can go weeks with practically nothing.  And then there’s stuff like not having health insurance, not having sick leave, never being able to make plans with friends, etc.

Still, I know that I’m lucky that for me, sex work is a choice.  And for many folks it’s not a lucky opportunity, but an unfortunate last resort.  That’s the interesting thing about sex work, it can be so many different things to different people.

I know that sex work is in my life to stay — both because I still enjoy the work — and because I’ve found a significant part of my “family of choice” in the sex worker community, and I’m not about to let that go any time soon.

Take care and be safe, hookerboys.  More updates soon…

xoBH

Tricks of the Trade, with Sean Storm

Greetings Guys!  Hope everyone is off to a productive and lucrative 2010.  God knows 2009 had its share of sucky moments.  If one more cheap ass banker type pulling down six figures complained about his freaking 401K I might have snapped.  Here’s hoping that 2010 will put clients in a more generous frame of mind!

At any rate, I can’t think of any better way to kick of the year here at HookerBoyHealth than introducing an awesome fellow sex worker as the latest contributor to our Tricks of the Trade series, where seasoned “pro’s” share their wisdom with their brothers in sex work.

Sean Storm has been in the sex biz for ten years, performing in films from Man Academy in 2000 to Cum-Greedy Fuckholes in 2010.  Along the way he has been escorting on the side, and loving it.  Prior to porn and hooking, Sean graduated from Eastern Illinois University with a degree in psychology.  But his true passion has always been writing. In fact, he has just recently completed the first draft to his first novel.  Hoping lightning will strike twice with writing as it did with porn, Sean is excited to be able to share his experiences in the fields of adult film and hookerdom with HBH readers and other escorts just getting into the business.

Sean has had an impressive career in porn, from numerous gigs with industry leader Raging Stallion to sizzling performances in the bareback porn industry (I “discovered” him in Treasure Island’s Cumsloppy Buttholes, and have popped countless loads watching him take a pounding with all the joy and relish of true power bottom).  He’s even founded his own jizz-laden production company, becoming an “auteur de porn” in his own right.

Now, let me say right up front that I make no apologies for featuring the opinions of a bareback performer here at HBH.  I founded this site to be a safe and welcoming place for ALL guys in the sex business.  I believe that harm reduction can happen anywhere across a vast spectrum of risk.  And let’s be real, there’s lots of guys in both porn and escorting who fuck bare.  Shame, scorn and stigma placed on bareback workers does nothing to advance the health of guys in any part of the sex industry, and it certainly can have the effect of silencing  guys in the bareback part of the industry, which may keep them from sharing ways to reduce  risks for HIV, STDs, violence and other kinds of harm that they and other barebacking workers may encounter.  And that, to me, is fucked up.  So I’m proud to welcome Sean to HBH. He’s a right on guy, who’s smart, sexy and actually cares about our community. Though his career in porn shows now signs of waning, Sean has been enthusiastic about reaching out to other guys in sex work, and I couldn’t be more delighted to be able to share his insights and advice.  So without further ado, here’s Sean Storm’s Tricks of the Trade:

1. STAY SAFE.  I think one of the most important pieces of advice that I can pass on to other hookers is the issue of safety.  When an escort meets a new client for the first time there is always going to be the risk of danger to oneself.  How an escort lessens those risks can be a matter of life or death.  Wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t have to worry about cops or STDs?  Unfortunately, those are risks we take, and, depending on the cop or the STD, we can deal with whatever fallout comes our way.  A slap on the wrist, maybe jail time, a Q-tip to the head of the penis… okay, not good times, but not the end of the world, either, right?  So what happens when something more macabre presents itself?  Being held at gunpoint, a knife to the throat, or even tied up, tortured, and killed?  Those are just three very bad things that I don’t even like to type out.  But they do exist, unfortunately.

At 5’4″, I am a small guy, and being overpowered is a very real concern for me.  To lessen the risk of something bad happening to me on a call, I first like to find out as much as I can about a client ahead of time.  Almost all of my clients are ones that I set up days in advance, due to the nature of my job and my availability.  This allows me plenty of time to do my homework on a client. But even if you don’t have time as a luxury, you can still check out a client in the time it would take to meet up with him even a couple of hours or less before meeting him.  Find a search engine and plug in the phone number and see what comes up. You can also type in his name, though with an alias given, that might not turn up any results.

But the VERY best piece of info I can give regarding safety is to give a friend who knows what you do the name, number and location of where you will be.  Then, once you meet your client, take a moment to phone or text your friend if everything is okay. And when you are done seeing the client, touch base with your friend again just to make sure you are for sure safe once and for all.  If at any point in the hook-up there was a problem, at least there is place or number to trace back to you and the client.

2. DEFINE WHAT YOU WILL DO AND WHAT YOU WON’T DO IN ADVANCE.  As a bottom in the biz, I am pretty open to almost every kind of cock and cumload imaginable going in and out of my hole.  Yet I am very picky with having to do other things, even sucking cock. I have a strong gag reflex, making sucking cock one of my least favorite past times.  By making my clients aware of this going in, there aren’t any surprises.  I sell myself as a talented bottom, and I deliver in that regard.  I also make it very clear that I am both a bareback and condom escort.  If you aren’t a barebacker, and a client is expecting that, well, you can see where the awkward talk, or simply awk talk, would factor in.  If only I had been more forthcoming with what I won’t do back in 2004 when I entertained a client in San Francisco.  I met him at a club where one of my films was being screened, and a fan approached me with ‘buying my time’ for a couple hours. Expecting he was just going to fuck me, we got back to his hotel and all he wanted me to do was suck on his asshole, which is just something I don’t do with clients unless I am very turned on by the guy.  I also take all the blame for not being upfront with the client ahead of time. If I had, we could have  both saved ourselves the time by not doing the gig.

3. SAY ‘THANK YOU’.  I know, it sounds too obvious, right?  So then why do I have clients tell me all the time about their terrible hookups with hookers who are rude and insensitive.  When I hook, I am not only the worker, but I am also the hostess, cruise director and customer service rep all in one.  But really, when you see a client, smile and say thanks, no matter what (unless the guy was a complete disaster, in which case he doesn’t deserve it).  A lot of guys who hire us are lonely, and have trouble connecting with people as it is.  So you’d be surprised how far a ‘thank you’ goes when you’re working it.

Here’s hoping Sean will share more of his thoughts with HBH readers in the months ahead. In the mean time you can read and see lots more of pix of sexy Sean in action, check out his blog, Barebacking With Sean Storm. xo BH

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Sex Tech::2010, Sexual Health Goes High Tech

Greetings Guys,

I’m excited to share with you news about an exciting conference that focuses on how various technologies can help promote sexual health.  The Sex Tech::2010 conference will be held at the San Francisco JW Marriot on February 26 and 27. The program is filled with workshops, speakers and panel discussions that explore effective model programs,  industry innovations and personal success stories.

Read more about the conference on the Sex Tech::2010 website.  I hope to be able to attend some of the workshops that are most relevant to addressing the needs of men in the sex industry.  In particular, issues around protecting privacy while optimizing the use of social media and how to expand the reach of this site, and other tech projects that aim to serve the health/wellness needs of men in the  industry.  Go check out there site.  And if by chance you are planning to attend this event, definitely give me a shout.

Hope all you boys are having a great 2010 so far!

xoBH

Happy New Year, Ho Bro’s!

May each and every one of you pop your cork with someone special — or especially generous.

xoBH

Sex Worker Issues @ Gay Men’s Health Summit 2010

Hey guys, I wanted to pass along this announcement regarding the annual Gay Men’s Health Summit, which will be in Fort Lauderdale in August of  2010.  I would very much love to see a group of guys from the industry attend the event.  I hope to prepare two abstracts for proposed events at the Summit, both related to men in sex work.

First, I want to have a straight forward panel discussion about the experiences of men in the sex industry — preferably one that represents some of the diversity of guys in the business (both in terms of race/ethnicity, age, background) but also guys from different types of sex work (porn, escorting, street-based work, exotic dancing, etc).  Second, we are still working on our much delayed ScarletMen.SF project  — more on that project soon.

For the purposes of this post, I am looking ahead to having completed the first part of that  project, the focus group we will be organizing in Jan/Feb of 2010.  When we have that feedback in and analyzed, we will move quickly  (I hope) onto an internet-based survey of health/wellness concerns of guys in the business.  Between the focus group and the internet-based survey, we should have some really interesting information to share about the eperience and health concerns of men in the sex industry.  For me, a major personal goal in my work on sex worker health issues is  getting our issues into the mainstream of conversation around gay men’s  health.  If you’re in the industry and would up for talking about your experiences in a panel forum next year, give me a shout!!    Here’s a link to learn more about the Summit in August.

xoBH

bradleyhart.sf@gmail.com

More RS Merriment @ Xmas Eve Event

Lance Navarro, Kent Taylor, Bradley Hart

Hey Ho Bros,

Thought I’d share a few more pix from my friend Kent’s xmas party.  There was definitely an extra helping of Raging Stallion hottness at this holiday gathering.  Fun, fun!   Many RS studs from those whose work we’ve loved for years to some of the newer faces were well represented in fine form.  Might as well take this opportunity to note how much Kent, Chris and the whole Raging Stallion family do for the LGBT community in general- – but  especially their support of the sex workers and of the St. James Infirmary, in particular.  Thanks so much for all you do, guys!   PS – Where was Trina?!  I missed her so much this year!  Here’s a few more pix…

Dominic Pacifico and Bradley Hart

My friend Michael from HotHouse, and a hottie, who's name I've lost to the haze of chamnpagne and Lance Navarro's curiuosly strong vodka beverage.

MobBlog’g Xmas Hotties

A pic of  Cole Streets, Tony Aziz,  me and in the top right corner,  the handsome smile of Mark LaSalle.  PS – this is my first attempt at Mobile Blogging from my iPhone. Woo-hoo!

xoBH